A Spoonful of Energy
Understanding Spoon Theory for Better Wellbeing
Have you ever had a friend who seems to drain the life out of you? While another leaves you feeling uplifted and recharged? Sometimes, our energy levels aren’t just about how much sleep we’ve had or whether we’ve just smashed out a workout. Instead, they’re influenced by the challenges we’ve faced throughout the day.
Have you ever felt completely drained before the day is even over? Do you struggle to juggle your responsibilities while managing your energy levels? Spoon Theory, originally introduced by Christine Miserandino, offers a simple yet powerful way to understand and manage our emotional energy—particularly for those who are neurodivergent or living with chronic conditions. By using this concept, you can plan your days more effectively and avoid burnout.
What Is Spoon Theory?
Spoon Theory is a metaphor that explains how our emotional energy is a limited resource. Every task, whether it’s socialising, working, or even just getting dressed, uses up a certain number of “spoons.”
Sometimes, it’s the scratchy work uniform or an uncomfortable chair that costs you more spoons than expected. Other times, it’s the comfort of fluffy socks or the warmth of your favourite pyjamas that helps restore your energy.
Once you’ve used up all your spoons for the day, exhaustion and burnout follow. While Spoon Theory is often discussed in relation to neurodivergence, it’s relevant to everyone. People with chronic illnesses, those facing relationship challenges, or anyone with sensory sensitivities may have a limited supply of spoons—making it crucial to be mindful of how we spend not just our energy, but our emotions.
Spoon Givers and Spoon Takers
Understanding what restores your emotional energy (spoon givers) and what depletes it (spoon takers) is key to maintaining balance. Spoon givers and takers are deeply personal—what energises one person may drain another. Recognising what works for you is crucial.
Spoon Givers (Energy Restorers)
Spoon givers help replenish your energy. Some common examples include:
✅ Supportive friends and family who understand you
✅ Engaging in hobbies or special interests
✅ Sensory-friendly environments (e.g., quiet spaces, dim lighting)
✅ Safe spaces where you feel heard and valued
✅ Regular breaks and structured routines
✅ Music, art, or other self-soothing activities
✅ Spending time outdoors or with animals
Spoon Takers (Energy Drainers)
Spoon takers, on the other hand, are tasks, situations, or interactions that consume your emotional and mental energy, leading to exhaustion. Common spoon takers include:
❌ Social interactions that require a lot of effort
❌ Sensory-overloading environments (e.g., loud noises, bright lights, crowds)
❌ Executive dysfunction challenges (e.g., decision fatigue, difficulty starting tasks)
❌ Emotional labour, like managing other people’s feelings
❌ Prolonged concentration without breaks
❌ High-pressure tasks or responsibilities without proper support
Using Spoon Theory to Plan Your Day
Identify Your Personal Spoon Givers and Takers
Make a list of the activities, people, and situations that either restore or drain your energy. Once you identify your personal spoon givers and takers, you can create strategies to this knowledge to balance your day and your life more effectively.
Prioritise Energy-Intensive Tasks
Schedule high-energy tasks when you’re feeling most resilient. If work meetings drain you, plan rest breaks before and after to recover.
Minimise Spoon Takers
Find ways to reduce or modify spoon takers:
🔹 Request accommodations at work or school
🔹 Use noise-cancelling headphones in loud spaces
🔹 Set clear boundaries in relationships
🔹 Reduce decision fatigue by planning outfits, meals, or daily routines in advance
Balance Your Spoons
If you know you’ve got a day with a high-emotional-energy-cost coming up, schedule recovery time afterwards. Try not to overload your week with too many high-spoon activities at once. Add in spoon giving activities where you can.
Incorporate More Spoon Givers
Prioritise spoon-giving activities throughout your day. Whether it’s listening to your favourite playlist, taking short breaks, or spending time in nature, these small moments of restoration can help prevent burnout.
Plan for Low-Spoon Days
Some days will naturally be more draining than others. Having a low-spoon survival plan can help you manage these tough times. Consider:
🔹 Having easy meals or snacks on hand so you don’t need to cook
🔹 Opting for simple movement, like a short walk instead of a workout
🔹 Using a code word or emoji to let friends know you’re struggling
🔹 Practising self-compassion exercises
🔹 Keeping a sensory crisis kit or distress tolerance strategy ready
Communicating Energy Needs
Spoon Theory is also a fantastic tool for explaining your energy levels to others. Whether at work, in relationships, or social settings, using the metaphor of spoons can help you advocate for necessary accommodations and boundaries without feeling guilty.
For example:
🔹 “I’m running low on spoons today—can we reschedule?”
🔹 “I’d love to come, but I need to save my spoons for work tomorrow.”
🔹 “This task will take a lot of spoons—can we break it down into smaller steps?”
By communicating your energy needs clearly, you can create more understanding relationships while protecting your own wellbeing.
A Heaped Spoon: Embracing Spoon Theory for a More Balanced Life
Spoon Theory isn’t just a metaphor, it’s a practical approach to managing your emotional energy. By recognising your spoon givers and takers, planning your energy use wisely, and setting realistic boundaries, if you can prioritise your self-care you can help prevent burnout.
If you find yourself constantly running out of spoons, consider making small adjustments to your routine. With greater self-awareness and intentional management, you’ll be able to move through your days with more balance and less overwhelm.
