Setting Goals in Therapy
“Clients can’t fail at therapy, but therapists can fail the client.”
Marsha Linehan
When we feel overwhelmed, it’s easy to focus what is wrong, rather than what we would like to go right. We focus sometimes on what we are running away from, rather than what we want to run towards, leaving us feeling directionless. This can make it difficult to recognise the progress we are making, or to appreciate our successes in life. Setting ourselves clear, actionable goals is important in life and in therapy, so we can ensure we are moving toward a healthier, happier version of ourselves.
What is a Goal?
We’ve all heard of SMART goals—Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-limited. These principles are just as important in therapy as any other aspect of life. Without goals, therapy can feel aimless, leaving you unsure if you’re truly making progress. With clear goals, you have a roadmap to guide your journey and celebrate your success along the way.
A common sentiment in therapy is, “I just don’t want to feel like this anymore.” While this is a valid feeling, it’s important to go deeper: What do you want to feel instead? How do you envision your life once you’ve made progress? These questions can help you and your therapist set meaningful goals.
Measuring Your Progress
Ask yourself:
Have I learned new skills or strategies? Have you got tools or strategies you can use to managing stress outside of your sessions? Attending a piano lesson once per fortnight is great, but if you never play outside of your lessons what is the point?
Have my moods and emotions improved? Are you able to recognise your emotions? Are you able to manage those feelings in a different way? Reflect on why you started therapy. If you came in feeling anxious, sad, or overwhelmed, have those feelings lessened over time?
Has my thinking shifted? Are your inner thoughts calmer, more realistic, or self-compassionate?
Have my behaviours changed? Behavioural changes, are you sleeping better? Eating in a more stable way? Are you able to manage things you were avoiding? Can you manage you manage your distractions? Have you got a good routine?
Are my relationships better? Have your friends and family noticed? Can you set boundaries in your relationships? Are you managing conflict or confrontation differently? Do you feel more connected in your relationships?
Do I have better life satisfaction? Ultimately, therapy should help you feel more satisfied with your life. If you’re finding more joy and contentment in your day-to-day experiences, it’s a testament to your progress.
The Right Fit: Finding a Therapist
Marsha Linehan, a renowned psychologist, famously said, “Clients cannot fail at therapy, but therapists can fail the client.” This means that sometimes, despite your best efforts, a particular therapy approach or therapist might not be the right fit for you. Just like finding the right pair of shoes, finding the right therapist may require some trial and error. If one approach isn’t working, don’t give up—keep searching until you find the therapeutic relationship that feels supportive and effective.
Your Journey Toward Change
You’re reading this because you’re committed to improving your life. Setting goals in therapy is the next step in this journey. By defining what you want to achieve, measuring your progress, and ensuring that your therapist is the right fit, you empower yourself to make meaningful changes. Remember, therapy is not a quick fix, but with clear goals and dedication, you can achieve the personal growth and well-being you deserve.
