Traumatic Invalidation
Often when we think of trauma, we think of a single traumatic event, not all trauma is the same. Traumatic Invalidation is where our feelings, behaviours, or experiences are repeatedly dismissed or undermined. Sometimes we call this “death of a thousand cuts”, because there are multiple events that seem to tell us the same story, leading to severe impact on our mental health and a range of negative self-beliefs.
What is Traumatic Invalidation?
Basically, traumatic invalidation is repeated messages that dismiss or invalidate our beliefs or experiences, and can appear in different ways, including:-
Unequal Treatment: Being treated as inferior or different making us feel inferior, or different.
Criticism and Blame: Experiencing insults, being put down, or being blamed for things that are not our fault, often resulting in feelings of worthlessness or being a burden.
Emotional Neglect: Not receiving caring or loving responses, leading to beliefs of being unlovable or undeserving of love.
Ignoring or Excluding: Feeling invisible or unimportant due to being ignored or excluded making us feel like we don’t matter, or don’t belong.
Blaming or Controlling Behaviour: Being blamed, micromanaged or controlled by others, which fosters a belief of incompetence and helplessness.
Controlling Behaviour: Being micromanaged or controlled by others, which fosters a belief of incompetence and helplessness.
The Impact
Traumatic invalidation can have a significant impact on our thoughts, behaviour and interaction with others, including::
Not Trusting Yourself: Traumatic invalidation teaches us to doubt our perceptions and look to others for reassurance, leading to a lack of self-confidence.
Unrealistic Standards: Those who experience traumatic invalidation often seek to avoid criticism by trying to be perfect, but constantly feeling inadequate or like we are failing. W
Pervasive Insecurity: This reaction involves a feeling of insecurity in our relationships, where we expect to be rejected or abandoned and (just as we have been in our past) and we struggle to trust others or change ourselves to be accepted.
Feeling Invalid: We can experience a sense of being inherently flawed or not fitting in anywhere. This often results in self-isolation and questioning our self-worth.
Self-Invalidation: We may can adopting negative beliefs about ourselves, like thinking our emotions or reactions are not valid, ignoring our needs, or assuming we will fail
Shame: One of the larger impacts is our emotional reaction of shame. This fear of judgment can change our behaviour, leading us to avoid showing emotions, asking for what we need, accepting praise, or appearing vulnerable. We may also be reluctant to express our true selves, not want to be in situations where we might make mistakes, and steer clear of drawing attention to ourselves.
Resources
Treating Trauma in Dialectical Behavior Therapy: The DBT Prolonged Exposure Protocol (DBT PE) by Melanie S. Harned. Copyright © 2022 The Guilford Press.
