
Mental Health Support
Explore my personally developed selection of mental health resources and tools, designed to support your journey toward emotional wellness and inner fulfilment.
The Minnesota Experiment
The history of psychological research includes ethically controversial studies, such as the Minnesota Starvation Experiment, which highlighted severe physical, psychological, and behavioural impacts of prolonged calorie restriction. Participants in the 1944 study faced physiological issues like heart problems and digestive difficulties, as well as psychological effects like depression, food obsession, and social withdrawal. The study revealed the deep and lasting effects of starvation on mental health, underlining the importance of balanced nutrition and the risks of severe dietary restriction.
A Meaningful Apology
A meaningful apology goes beyond simply saying "I'm sorry." It involves acknowledging the impact of your actions, providing an explanation without making excuses, offering to make amends, and committing to changes that prevent the same mistakes from happening again. By taking responsibility and showing a willingness to grow, an apology can help rebuild trust and strengthen relationships.
Acceptable level of risk
Trauma can significantly alter our perception of danger, leading to heightened anxiety, avoidance behaviours, and challenges in relationships and decision-making. This heightened vigilance often persists even after the initial danger has passed, narrowing the areas where we feel safe and increasing feelings of guilt or shame. By learning to identify acceptable levels of risk and using mindfulness to separate past trauma responses from present realities, we can work toward reducing the impact of fear and regaining a sense of control.
Listening to Pain
Emotional connection in relationships thrives on active listening and validation, not quick solutions or minimisation. When our partner shares their pain, they're often seeking empathy and understanding, not fixes or dismissive reassurances, which can make them feel misunderstood or isolated. By truly listening, validating emotions, and avoiding defensive responses, we build trust and deepen intimacy, creating a more supportive and resilient relationship.
Boundaries
Boundaries are essential for personal well-being and to help shape our interactions with others. They span areas such as physical, emotional, intellectual, and time-related limits, ensuring our needs are respected and our values are upheld. Recognising unhealthy patterns, like overextending ourselves or constantly putting others' needs first, are signals we may need for stronger boundaries. Boundaries can be built through self-awareness, clear communication, and setting consequences this helps us to build healthier relationships and a more balanced life.
Interoception: The Hidden Sense
Beyond the basic five senses, we have three "hidden senses"—vestibular (balance and movement), proprioception (body awareness), and interoception (internal bodily sensations). Interoception is crucial for recognising needs like hunger, thirst, and emotions, and can be challenging for neurodivergent individuals, impacting self-regulation and emotional awareness. Practices like mindful body scans, interoception exercises, and routines can help enhance this awareness, supporting a stronger connection between mind and body and building resilience and well-being.
Polyvagal Theory
Polyvagal Theory explains how our nervous system, particularly the vagus nerve, impacts our emotional and physical responses, influencing states of safety, stress, and shutdown. The vagus nerve helps us stay calm when we feel safe but activates "fight or flight" or "shutdown" modes in response to perceived danger, often subconsciously through a process called neuroception. Understanding these states can help us recognise and regulate our nervous system responses, promoting resilience, healing, and improved social connections.
Finding Balance in Intimacy
Unbalanced relationships often arise when one partner continuously gives without receiving, usually due to fears of vulnerability, past abandonment, or feelings of unworthiness. According to relationship expert Esther Perel, those who feel unworthy of love may replace being loved with being needed, which can lead to a power imbalance that limits true connection. Embracing vulnerability and fostering a healthy balance of giving and receiving allows for deeper emotional intimacy, mutual respect, and stronger, more fulfilling relationships.
Traumatic Invalidation
Traumatic invalidation is the repeated dismissal of a person’s feelings, behaviours, or experiences, which can deeply damage self-worth and mental health. This pattern of invalidation—through criticism, emotional neglect, exclusion, or control—leads to self-doubt, perfectionism, insecurity, and shame. Over time, it creates pervasive negative beliefs, like feeling inherently flawed or unworthy, and can lead to self-isolation and difficulty trusting oneself and others.
Love or Limerance
Love is a deep, stable connection based on mutual respect, trust, and emotional stability, while limerence is a more intense, infatuated state marked by idealisation, emotional dependency, and intrusive thoughts. Limerence often feels like an emotional rollercoaster, with dramatic highs and lows driven by the other person’s responses, which is distinct from the calm security found in love. Recognising the difference can help in building healthy, balanced relationships and making more intentional choices in romance.
Behavioural Strategies for ADHD
Managing neurodivergence involves using tailored strategies, such as breaking tasks into smaller steps, time management, and minimising distractions, which can help alleviate overwhelm. Techniques like prioritising tasks, using visual anchors, and setting up reward systems can boost focus and motivation, while lifestyle adjustments and support systems provide a solid foundation for sustained well-being. Regular self-compassion and breaks are also essential for maintaining balance and managing stress effectively.
Trauma Reactions
Trauma can lead to complex and often contradictory responses, known as the “dialectical reaction to trauma,” where survivors may simultaneously want to avoid and confront reminders of their experience. This reaction can be seen emotionally, behaviourally, and interpersonally, with individuals moving between extremes, like feeling emotionally numb or overwhelmed, exhibiting reckless or hypervigilant behaviours, and seeking connection while also pushing people away. These conflicting responses are natural parts of trauma processing and reflect the depth of its impact on our emotions, behaviours, and relationships.
Setting Goals in Therapy
When feeling overwhelmed, it’s common to focus on escaping problems rather than pursuing positive goals, which can make progress seem unclear. Setting clear, actionable goals in therapy, like SMART goals, helps us to create a roadmap to track our progress and recognise our achievements. By measuring changes in our emotions, thoughts, behaviours, and relationships, therapy becomes a purposeful journey toward a healthier and more satisfying life, especially when paired with someone who is a good fit for us and our goals.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic where one person uses misinformation, blame-shifting, and isolation to control another, often eroding their self-esteem and sense of reality. Common characteristics include twisting facts to create confusion, minimising the victim’s feelings, and isolating them from support networks. Gaslighting can lead to anxiety, depression, and a weakened sense of self, but awareness and support from trusted people can aid in recovery.
Schema Therapy
Schema Therapy is a therapeutic approach that targets long-standing negative beliefs, or "schemas," often rooted in our past or childhood, which influence present thoughts, feelings, and relationships. By identifying and challenging these maladaptive patterns, Schema Therapy empowers us to develop healthier responses and build more fulfilling connections. This therapy is particularly beneficial for those struggling with self-esteem issues, relationship difficulties, trauma, and personality disorders, as it addresses the root causes of emotional distress, promoting deep, lasting change.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
CBT is an evidence-based approach that helps us identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviours by addressing the interconnectedness of thoughts, feelings, and actions. It focuses on recognising uncontrollable triggers, managing physical reactions to stress, challenging unhelpful thoughts, and by borrowing techniques from DBT we can understanding complex emotions and nuance. CBT empowers us by providing practical tools to help manage our symptoms and work to improve mental well-being over the long term.